Parashat Vayigash

In this week’s parashah, we read Judah’s devastatingly beautiful speech to Joseph. It is this speech that will finally break through the facade of Joseph’s foreignness. This speech will convince Joseph that his brothers have changed and that he can reveal himself to them. 

When Joseph wants his brothers to abandon Benjamin with him, Judah refuses and offers himself to stay behind instead, saying “Let your servant, stay, please, instead of the boy, as a slave to my lord. Let the boy go up with his brothers. For how shall I go up to my father, if the boy is not with us? Let me see not the evil that would find my father!” Judah is willing to sacrifice himself to save the brother his father loves best. Judah knows the pain of losing two sons; he’s done it as we read back in Genesis 38. He is willing to do anything to prevent his father from suffering the loss of a second son. Somehow, Judah’s suffering has made him stronger, more empathetic, more ready to give. 

Jacob too has suffered. He has suffered the loss of his beloved wife and thinks he has lost his beloved son Joseph. And these losses break him. Jacob ossifies, drowning in his grief. Repeatedly, we hear him speak about himself as if he is already dead. Life cannot go on for him without Joseph. He forgets his other sons and he forgets God’s promise and his responsibility to it. Jacob sleepwalks through life after losing Joseph. 

Then, in our parashah, Jacob finally learns that he has not, in fact, lost Joseph. This could be a moment of jubilation. This happy, long-imagined, hardly-thought-to-be-possible reunion could be the revival of Jacob. But it is not. Jacob has been broken by unbearable pain. Even upon learning the cause of the pain is gone, even knowing that Joseph is still alive, all Jacob can think of is death. In the moment that he hears the news, Jacob’s heart stops. Some think he faints; some think he suffers a heart attack. Jacob has been so consumed by grief that when he learns that there is no cause for grief, there is nothing left in him that can celebrate. He still thinks only of death. Jacob has been pushed to the point of breaking. He cannot change; he cannot heal. 

It is fitting then that we are Bnai Yisrael, descendants of Jacob. We know unbearable grief. But our kings come from Judah. We aspire to follow Judah’s example – to rise up from grief and choose life. 

 

Shabbat Shalom.