Parashat Vayera
November 12, 2024
Rabbi Mick Fine, Lower School Director of Hebrew and Judaic Studies
This week’s Torah portion, Parashat Vayera, tells the story of Avraham and Sarah, an elderly couple, and the delivery of good news: “I shall return to you during the Spring season and your wife Sarah will have a son.” This son brings to life the prophecy of having progeny as innumerable as the stars. This son, the son that Avraham and Sarah wished for, is surprising. Sarah, is SO taken aback by the news of her pregnancy, at the ripe old age of 90, that she giggles to herself, perhaps even inaudibly. The Torah states: “ותצחק שרה בקרבה” – Sarah laughed internally, and her response: “Now that I’ve lost the ability, am I to have enjoyment? And my husband is OLD!”
The interaction between Sarah and the news, and Sarah with herself, is then retold in an interesting manner. When God appears to Avraham and retells the story, God identifies Sarah as having laughed, and then quotes Sarah: “Now that I’ve lost the ability, am I to have enjoyment? And I am OLD!” Hold on, what just happened? When God retold the interaction, God chose to adjust the quote, perhaps to not insult Avraham, perhaps to retain שלום בית (shalom bayit), peace in the home. Either way, a decision was made and we have the receipts.
The rabbis of the Talmud take note of this seeming contradiction, and go out of their way to explain why God recast the statement. Rabbi Yishmael, living near Hebron in the 1st Century CE, points out that
“גדול השלום שאף הקדוש ברוך הוא שינה בו” – “So great is peace that even God changed for its sake.” What did God “change” – God changed the wording so that Avraham wouldn’t be offended. As a third-grader in Ms. Alterovich’s class recently explained: “It’s a white lie.”
“גדול השלום שאף הקדוש ברוך הוא שינה בו” – “So great is peace that even God changed for its sake.” What did God “change” – God changed the wording so that Avraham wouldn’t be offended. As a third-grader in Ms. Alterovich’s class recently explained: “It’s a white lie.”
With this entry into the paramount value of peace, the rabbis of the Midrash and Talmud are able to riff off of one another and continue the line of thinking. Rabbi Eliezer haKappar (in Sifre and TB Yevamot) continues: “גדול השלום, שאין חותם כל התפילה אלא בשלום” – “Peace is so great that there is no ending to tefilah other than peace.” By which we are meant to understand that the value of peace is so great that we as a Jewish people end all of our prayer services with a request for peace: עושה שלום (Oseh Shalom – the One who makes peace).
What are we to make of all of this? How is this glimpse into the intra-family drama, and God’s adjusted retelling, supposed to inform our lives and actions? On one level, we can certainly take to heart the value of שלום בית (shalom bayit), peace in our homes. On another level we are forced to think through the repercussions of our “hot takes” and “gotcha” culture. What would the inverse of this kind of behavior be? How might our relationships benefit from greater sensitivity when retelling a story or from sharing more thoughtfully? We were created בצלם אלוהים (b’tzelem Elohim), in God’s image, by which I believe the Torah means that when we are at our best we can be like God. Applied to this week’s Torah portion, we can follow God’s model and think carefully about every word, every retelling, and if God chose to be extra careful when speaking with God’s most loyal (to that point) follower, how much more so should we be thoughtful about how, what, and with whom we speak.