Parashat Vayera

I am writing from limbo, waiting with bated breath for the results of this election. I feel the same uncertainty that characterizes the moments following the akeidah (the binding of Isaac) in this week’s Torah portion, Parashat Vayera: 

וַיָּשָׁב אַבְרָהָם אֶל־נְעָרָיו וַיָּקֻמוּ וַיֵּלְכוּ יַחְדָּו אֶל־בְּאֵר שָׁבַע (בראשית כב:יט)

And Abraham returned to his lads, and they rose and went together to Beersheba (Genesis 22:19; Torah translations by Robert Alter)
Contrast that verse with the ones which precede it, which tell of Abraham and Isaac’s ascent up the mountain:

וַיִּקַּח אַבְרָהָם אֶת־עֲצֵי הָעֹלָה וַיָּשֶׂם עַל־יִצְחָק בְּנוֹ וַיִּקַּח בְּיָדוֹ אֶת־הָאֵשׁ וְאֶת־הַמַּאֲכֶלֶת וַיֵּלְכוּ שְׁנֵיהֶם יַחְדָּו: וַיֹּאמֶר יִצְחָק אֶל־אַבְרָהָם אָבִיו וַיֹּאמֶר אָבִי וַיֹּאמֶר הִנֶּנִּי בְנִי וַיֹּאמֶר הִנֵּה הָאֵשׁ וְהָעֵצִים וְאַיֵּה הַשֶּׂה לְעֹלָה׃  וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְרָהָם אֱלֹהִים יִרְאֶה־לּוֹ הַשֶּׂה לְעֹלָה בְּנִי וַיֵּלְכוּ שְׁנֵיהֶם יַחְדָּו׃ (בראשית כב:ו-ח)

And Abraham took the wood for the offering and put it on Isaac his son and he took in his hand the fire and the cleaver, and the two of them went together. And Isaac said to Abraham his father, “Father!” and he said, “Here I am, my son.” And he said, “Here is the fire and the wood but where is the sheep for the offering?” And Abraham said, “God will see to the sheep for the offering, my son.” And the two of them went together.


What happened to Isaac? The repetition of the phrase “two of them together,” when juxtaposed with the more vague “and they rose and went together,” along with the absence of Isaac’s name in verse 19, leads the earliest darshanim (exegetes) to ask this question. One answer offered is that Isaac, following his horrific experience on Mount Moriah, leaves his home to study Torah in the beit midrash of Shem (Noah’s son) (See, for example, Targum Yerushalmi, Midrash HaGadol.)

At first blush, this may seem a peculiar choice. Isaac has survived a most traumatic experience. His father, who loves him dearly, tied him down, lifted a cleaver, and, if not for Divine intervention, would have slaughtered him then and there. And in response, Isaac yearns to sit in a beit midrash for three years?

Yet perhaps, it is davka — precisely — because of the acute trauma that Isaac has experienced that he goes off to learn. According to those darshanim, Torah study is a safe haven within which he might begin a healing process that might help Isaac move on from — or least learn how to live with — the trauma he has endured.

We, as a country, have been through a dramatic week, the culmination of a tumultuous campaign season and only one part of an already traumatic year.  Covid-19 brought and continues to inflict pain and suffering on millions, including the loss of loved ones and jobs, social isolation, and physical distance from family members and friends. In addition, our country continues to witness the killing of Black people by police, with George Floyd and Breonna Taylor’s deaths spurring demonstrations across the nation and bringing to stark light the truth of entrenched racism in our country. The year 2020 has solidified and deepened the divisions in our society, which have become so painfully apparent in the past several years.

Our patience, fortitude and emotions are being tested, and many feel despair. But Isaac’s response to his trauma suggests a pathway to coping, perhaps even to healing. Among the conventional coping mechanisms we have at our disposal (some healthy and many not) I suggest that Isaac be our guide and that we follow him to the beit midrash. Perhaps Jewish learning, Torah itself, can be a useful tool for healing, to help us move on from, or at least learn how to live with the trauma we have experienced.

How does Torah help us live with our emotional wounds? There are numerous biblical texts that deal with trauma, beginning even before the akeidah and continuing through modern midrash. However, where we truly find solace, really learn to live with and learn from all of our experiences of pain, and joy, is through connections with others. Torah can be the vehicle through which these connections are built. By finding a chevruta, a learning partner, we can allow a text to speak to us as individuals, and then share what the text stirs in us with a trusted chaveir (friend).

I imagine that Isaac, after his experience with his father, would be feeling deep emotional pain. One way this pain may have manifested would have been a loss of trust in people. His father, whom he knew loved him dearly, misled him on the way up the mountain, only to bind him to a rock-altar and come so close to taking his life. How could Isaac trust anyone after that? Our rabbis teach us that he did so by finding a partner with whom to learn sacred and eternal wisdom.

Naturally, when faced with an uncertain political and cultural future, we tend to turn to those we know best and who echo our own perspectives on controversial issues. But I suggest that our opportunity in this fragile time is not only to strengthen our relationships with those to whom we are already close, but to endeavor to reach beyond the familiar.  Find someone new with whom to build something meaningful. 

Begin by finding accessible Torah to learn, and there are numerous sources: Ma Nishmah, Reform Judaism’s Ten Minutes of Torah, JTSA’s weekly dvar Torah, Yeshivat Chovevei Torah’s library of sources, Yeshiva University’s expansive collection, Yeshivat Hadar’s Torah Online, or any other Torah resources online. Try learning Torah that is outside of your comfort zone. Then, the real challenge: Find someone with whom to learn, and I’d like to suggest that you seek out someone with whom you have known disagreements. These need not necessarily be political; they can be religious, moral, or philosophical. Learn the Torah together. Build a meaningful relationship. Learn to trust someone with whom you do not agree. My own experience in the beit midrash and in other settings with people who come to the table with a different background or a different religious approach has helped me develop tools for listening and civil discourse.

The Torah shows us that Isaac’s experience in the beit midrash of his ancestor yielded a positive outcome. After distance from his father following the akeidah, Isaac returns home to bury him. Not only that, but his estranged brother Ishmael joins him in mourning. It was with time, effort, and sacred learning that Isaac found his path to healing. He learned to trust again through Torah study, and arrived at an emotional place in which he was able to properly mourn his father who had hurt him so deeply. Following his mourning, Isaac continued his life by walking in the path and ways of Abraham. Had he not been able to find forgiveness, he could not have followed in his father’s footsteps.

Let us follow in Isaac’s footsteps. Let us use Torah to facilitate a rebuilding. Let us start to build new chevrutot within our own diverse and divided Jewish community, and pray that our rebuilding be a model for more intra- and inter-religious relationships. Let us walk a path to healing. Shabbat shalom.