Parashat Vayechi

Those of us in the field of communications and marketing are always thinking about how to craft and deliver a message that will be appropriately received by the intended audience. So it feels like quite the coincidence that this same concept happens to appear in the parashah for which I volunteered to write the weekly dvar Torah.  

In Parashat Vayechi, this week’s Torah portion, Jacob, knowing he is about to die, gathers his twelve sons around his deathbed so he can tell them what will happen to them in the future. Jacob then proceeds to speak directly to each child, reflecting on each one’s personality and what that indicates for their future. He predicts that although Reuven is his first born, and Jacob considers him his strength and might, Reuven will no longer excel because of his past transgressions. That Shimon and Levi, who are lawless and filled with anger, will be divided across the land of Israel rather than inherit their own lot. Judah is a lion, who will lead the tribes of his brothers, Zebulon will live by the coast, Issachar will work the land, and on and on.  

When Jacob is finished speaking with each son, the Torah offers a concluding verse: 

וְ֠זֹ֠את אֲשֶׁר־דִּבֶּ֨ר לָהֶ֤ם אֲבִיהֶם֙ וַיְבָ֣רֶךְ אוֹתָ֔ם אִ֛ישׁ אֲשֶׁ֥ר כְּבִרְכָת֖וֹ בֵּרַ֥ךְ אֹתָֽם׃

This is what their father spoke to them and blessed them; each man, according to his blessing, he blessed them. (Genesis 49:28)

The JPS translation is less literal but speaks to me even more, both as a communications professional and as a parent: “And this is what their father said to them as he bade them farewell, addressing to each a parting word appropriate to him.”

Jacob spoke to each son as was appropriate to him. With this interpretation, we learn two important things about Jacob. First, that he has the wisdom and understanding to know that he must communicate with each child in a way that is appropriate to that particular son. And second, that he must have known each of his twelve sons well enough to determine the best way to speak to each one. Yes, our forefather Jacob — even on his deathbed — was thinking about how to communicate effectively to each of his children.

As educators, Leffell School teachers strive to follow this example. They don’t just group our students together and teach everyone exactly the same way. They put in the effort to get to know them — to know their strengths and where they need support and to understand how they best absorb information and learn — so that they can adjust their teaching styles accordingly.  

This idea extends beyond the classroom here at Leffell as well as in our lives in general. For example, when approached for help, our amazing Kehilah Committee listens carefully to understand each individual’s particular situation and then tailors the committee’s efforts to meet that person’s or family’s needs, whether it be a meal train, carpool rides, or other types of help. 

As parents we realize that each of our children may have very different personalities and may respond to different types of situations accordingly. So we, in turn, relate to each child as is appropriate to him or her. We motivate, comfort, and advise our children k’virchato, according to their blessings, in a way that plays to their strengths and takes into account their challenges.  

As we turn the page onto the new calendar year of 2023, let us resolve to continue to follow Jacob’s example. Let us take the time to get to know our students, co-workers, friends, and family members, well enough to understand their blessings — the traits that make them who they are — so that we can communicate and develop relationships with them in the way that is most appropriate for them.   

Shabbat Shalom