Parashat Vayechi
December 16, 2021
Rabbi Joshua Cahan, High School Talmud Teacher and Tefilah Chair
As he nears the end of his life, Jacob makes a surprising reappearance as a key player in what has mostly been the saga of Joseph and his brothers. He first calls Joseph’s sons Ephraim and Menashe, then all of his own sons, to give each a final blessing. Jacob is the first biblical figure whom we get to see preparing for his own death. And the scene is not depressing or maudlin. It is not focused on tearful goodbyes. Jacob in his final days is reflective, looking to secure his legacy and having made peace with this end.
It is a remarkable shift for a man who, when he arrived in Egypt, told Pharaoh that “few and bitter have been the years of my life.” He has gained some kind of perspective that had eluded him previously and he has let go of a few of his ghosts.
In a sense, Jacob’s circumstances have changed for the better. He no longer faces chronic insecurity, and has been reunited with his favorite son. But this end also comes with its share of pain. He has had to accept that he will not return to their Homeland alive, and will have to rely on the efforts of his children in order to be buried there. He leaves his family living as guests in a foreign land, one that will get much harsher before the end. This is certainly not the endpoint he’d imagined or hoped for of his long and winding life journey.
What I think Jacob has learned in these final years is acceptance. He has learned to be open to seeing the world as it is and not to focus only on the world as he wants it to be. He blesses his grandsons out of order, and Joseph rushes to correct him — this is not the way it is supposed to be. Jacob’s response is telling — the truth that he sees is that the younger will outshine the older, and this is a reality that he has, at long last, learned to accept.
Acceptance is not at all the path to passivity or powerlessness. It is not an admission that all is out of our control. For Jacob, it is liberating. Many things in life have not gone as he’d planned, many plans have been frustrated. He had much reason to be bitter. But in looking at the world that was, he saw that there was nonetheless much that he had built, a legacy in which he could take real pride. His final acts, then, are to leave his family with whatever wisdom and guidance he can to steer them on the road ahead.
This is a challenge that I feel every day. There is much in the world to make us frustrated or bitter, paths that did not turn out as we’d hoped. These losses are real and important. Every one of us discovers that we can’t have the impact on the world that we may once have imagined. But it turns out to be much more important to feel that we have made good use of the opportunities we’ve had, that we have contributed to the people we have touched. It is the difference between aspiring to Greatness and aspiring to Goodness. While we may dream big, what will keep us motivated in the daily, small challenges of life is the desire not to be Great but to be Good. May we all find those sources of strength and blessing.
Shabbat Shalom.