Parashat Noach

When Joy Increases Pain 

Imagine you just got an exam result and it’s great news. You found out that your grade was 98%. Even the most humble of people would want to share that news with others. So how do you do that without showing off? You play it cool. You casually go up to people and ask them how they did, knowing that they’re going to ask you back. There’s just one problem. What if they didn’t do so well? And we’re about to make them feel a whole lot worse?

 

Rashi tells us that Noah and his wife were not allowed to have marital relations on the ark. Why? It’s because to be having that sort of joy, while everyone around you is literally drowning, is simply too jarring. It’s just too insensitive. 

And we face these situations in our lives all the time. Experiencing happiness while people all around us are metaphorically drowning with their issues. Weighed down by their difficulties, the last thing they need is for us to go up to them and start telling them how well we’re doing; how great things are going in our lives.

We all have joyous moments in life and they would be meaningless if we couldn’t share them with friends and family members. But expressing joy is something that can be personalized. It can be softened or toned down in certain situations, or when interacting with certain people. After all, you never want your joy to exacerbate someone else’s pain. 

 

Shabbat Shalom!