Parashat Vayishlach

November 18, 2021

Rabbi Amir Zinkow, Middle School Mishnah/Gemara Curriculum Coordinator and Limudei Kodesh Teacher

It is ostensibly Jacob’s goal, at the beginning of this week’s parashah, to make peace with his brother, Esau. On his way back from his sojourn in Lavan’s house, Jacob sends messengers ahead in an attempt to appease his brother, whom Jacob had so deeply hurt all those years before. His initial approach to mollification is straightforward: take a stance of humility, telling his messengers to convey the following:
כֹּה אָמַר עַבְדְּךָ יַעֲקֹב עִם־לָבָן גַּרְתִּי וָאֵחַר עַד־עָתָּה. וַיְהִי-לִי שׁוֹר וַחֲמוֹר, צֹאן וְעֶבֶד וְשִׁפְחָה; וָאֶשְׁלְחָה לְהַגִּיד לַאדֹנִי, לִמְצֹא-חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ. “Thus said your servant, Yaakov: I have sojourned with Lavan and have been delayed until now. I have oxen, donkeys, sheep, servants, and maidservants, and I have sent to tell [this to] my master, to find favor in your eyes.”
We cannot know from Esau’s reaction to this message whether or not the attempt works. The Torah does not record any verbal response from Esau. The messengers come back only with reports of what they saw: Esau is coming this way along with 400 men. Jacob does not take this news well:
וַיִּירָא יַעֲקֹב מְאֹד, וַיֵּצֶר לוֹ; וַיַּחַץ אֶת-הָעָם אֲשֶׁר-אִתּוֹ, וְאֶת-הַצֹּאן וְאֶת-הַבָּקָר וְהַגְּמַלִּים–לִשְׁנֵי מַחֲנוֹת. וַיֹּאמֶר, אִם-יָבוֹא עֵשָׂו אֶל-הַמַּחֲנֶה הָאַחַת וְהִכָּהוּ–וְהָיָה הַמַּחֲנֶה הַנִּשְׁאָר, לִפְלֵיטָה. Yaakov was very afraid and he was distressed. He split the people who were with him, and the sheep, cattle, and camels, into two camps. He said, “If Esau comes upon one camp and strikes it, the remaining camp will escape.”

Fearing a massacre, Jacob splits his camp in an effort to save half of them from such a fate. How are we to understand Jacob’s action here? On the one hand, he tells Esau he is trying to make peace. However, he takes up a defensive military position upon hearing that Esau is coming towards him. While it might seem a practical thing to do to try to save lives, it certainly does not make Jacob and those traveling with him appear as a group expecting peace. If one does not expect peace, it becomes more challenging to make it happen in the end.

Rashbam explains Jacob’s feelings and actions as misguided, a misinterpretation of what was going on. Esau and his 400 men were not a war party, says Rashbam. They were gathered to honor Jacob upon his return home. Jacob was unable to see this honor, as his judgement was clouded by the past. In this situation, he was unable to show faith in his brother’s ability to forgive. This lack of faith is shown in his taking up a defensive position, and makes us wonder whether he ever believed peace with his brother was a possibility.

The text of the Torah hints at the eventual peaceful reunion of these estranged siblings in its repeated use of the word אח, brother, to refer to Esau in the narrative. As readers of the text, we are well aware of who Esau is; there is no need to remind us several times in this chapter. The text draws us to this word to remind us not of their blood relationship, but of the way Jacob should be relating to Esau: as his brother, who is capable of forgiveness, capable of peace, capable of love.

In our lives, sometimes we default to Jacob’s view of others, causing us to take defensive positions to avoid getting hurt. When we do this, however, we close ourselves off to the alternative: positive, meaningful relationships built out of mutual understanding. This Shabbat, may we find the inner strength to step out of our Jacob mindset, and to see others as the Torah begs Jacob to view Esau: as brothers.

Shabbat Shalom.